Memory Lane ♥
1:40 AM
Went to airpot today with mummy... A place which holds a place in my heart... Happy, nerve wrecking and sad memories.. You name it, you have it... Saw many crews and trainees throughout the day... One in the MRT, mamking sure her eye make up is of standard... Trainees walking here and there, which I believed was their aircraft visit... Walked by control centre, to see countless of crew walking in and out..
Reminiscing...
Where my aunt will drive me to the airpot... Where I wait patiently for the taxi with the taxi voucher.. The walk to the departure gate... The uniform and make up that transform us from a plain jane to a Singapore Girl... Many many memories...
Those were the days... ...
The only difference is no tears will roll down.. It's not that I don't feel upset anymore... No! It's just that I cried so much, numbed from all the pains...
Told mummy if I could lay my hands on a time machine... I will turn back time... Something which I'll never ever find...
I've not moved on completely.. Occasionally, I still think about the past... Something that changed my life... From heaven till hell... But there were lots of improvements... For instance I shed lesser tears, I don't feel so sad as before, I pick myself up and made an effort to return back to school...
Doesn't sound very much impressive.... But I tried my best..
I don't think any of you really know how I felt... When you lost your dreams, when you lost the ability to provide a better life for your family, when your family members felt that you were 'weak' and not 'trust worthy' and your boyfriend is not understanding enough... It's like against the odds...
I felt like a bird... Where my wings had been snipped off... I had to grit my teeth, to endure the emotion and physical pain... Seeing other birds soaring in the beautiful sky.. Yet I could never ever spread my wings and fly once again... For I'm a bird with broken wings...
I really miss flying..
I feel even more terrible when I cannot do anything... The last time the whole family went for a vacation.. Probably more than 10 years ago... Yet I can only pretend, that I never listened.. When my mum wished for a family trip... And when my grandma says that the only person who can support her holidays, who is non other than my aunt...
do you really understand how it feels...
Change of wardrobe
